There is one thing I have finally come to accept. Change is inevitable. Whether it is for the better or for the worse, whether you want it or not, change happens. Or changes happen. Well, whatever. I am personally not a very big fan of change. I like things simple, stable, routine, even boring. Unless I am convinced that the change is actually something big, and is definitely very positive, which for me, hasn’t happened too often.
My very first aversion to change came to the fore pretty early. I was 3 and my little sister was born. Mom and dad had done their job of making me all excited about the idea, and actually look forward to having a sibling to play with all the time. And I was, suitably so. Well, almost, till it was 15 days since she had been staying with us and hogging all the attention. And I, straightforward that I am, went to my mom, and told her that I was really happy to have the kid around and all, but 15 days was enough, and so, could we please leave her where she came from and get back to normal? Just us? Me, mom and dad? Like before? Please?
The next blow came when I was told that I could no longer spend all my time at home. The change was big, but it was the prospect of waking up early, which bothered me more than the idea of spending time with people with a similar wavelength. Which surprisingly I looked forward to, conveniently assuming that parents not being around meant no one to bother you. And perhaps the reason why told a teacher how evil she was (in my fluent Hindi) when she tried to stop me from talking in class.
Life was more or less smooth and routine after that, and I was happy with the way things were. There were a few schools changed, a few friends left behind and missed, and new friends made. The changes hurt, but I ever so gracefully accepted them and moved on. Ok not so gracefully, but the tantrums didn’t last too long.
When school was about to end, I somehow looked forward to getting into college, that was one change, which I was extremely positive about. Hostel life, new friends, it seemed very interesting. But things don’t always work they way you want them to, in my case, even more so, and with some weird twist of fate, I landed up in Hyderabad, living with relatives, and attending an all-girls college. Both not even remotely connected to what I had been planning all this while. And of course, I hated it. And this was probably the change I took longest to adjust to, or accept. In fact I don’t think I ever did, and still look at it as a temporary filler phase.
The next change was something I had been praying for since long. And it happened in a big way. Moving to K was a change which was anticipated and looked forward to like no other, and more so was exactly as imagined, which made it even tougher to get over and accept the next big transition to work life.
Living alone, taking charge of life, finding people to share the apartment with, arranging for food everyday, all this was too much of new stuff to handle after the stint at K. And again, I was dead against the whole idea. Not that I could do anything about it, but that’s how I felt. The phase however turned out to be more fun than I could have ever expected. After all, it provided me with self earned money for the first time, and luckily, good friends too. So life was all about shopping, movies, TV, magazines, music, when we were not working. And who could complain about that! And just as I was getting used to the independent life phase, things changed again. There was shift of houses, moving across locations, and the inevitable change.
I am just a month and 10 days away from the next big change, and this time, it’s going to be a change for life. And it becomes bigger, when it involves everyone who really matters to you. But thankfully, this time around, the usual inhibitions of how it would be are somehow not bothering me, at least not as yet. And thankfully, this time I am looking forward to it.
But then like I said, there is one thing I have finally come to accept. Change is inevitable.
PS. The Wedding’s on June 23rd and there’s lots to do! So till then, Ciao!