Bad Grammar? Too bad!

Recently I reached the conclusion that in my purva janma, I was in fact an English teacher in one of the few English schools set up in the country during British Raj. More so, I specialized in English grammar’, and I was extremely unpopular due to my irritating picking of the tiniest of errors in the spoken or written language. And I have a serious hunch that it was an extremely bugged student who actually murdered me, and then blamed it on the British-Indian clash. And I guess I was so shocked that it took me almost 40 years to recover and get back here to the material world. 

Why do I say so? Well, some of the personality of that character still remains in me. The only people who I form immediate opinions about ( and not very positive ones), without giving them a second chance, or waiting to know more of them, are the ones with bad grammar. No no, it doesn’t have to be pathetic grammar, or horrendous grammar. You miss the use of an article in the sentence, and well, you are already judged. Poorly. 

It works them other way around too. For me to form an awesome opinion about someone, needs just about 4-5 lines in writing, or say a 10 minute long conversation. But there is a difference. Here I am allowed to change my opinion about such a person, once I come to know more of him, based on the other criteria, but that doesn’t hold true for the former set of people. They, like I said, are judged, forever. 

I don’t even want to start on the orkut messages, requesting you to ‘make’ friendship with them, as much has already been spoken about it. And frankly, those can be forgiven. Seriously, what else do you expect from a loser, who cuts pastes the same message in 450 profiles, which he found on a single search criterion, ‘Gender – Female’? It’s the I-am-so-cool-and-say-right-thing-always big shots, missing out on the essential ‘the’ from ‘Lets show them that we are best!’

 When Pure veg roomie and I had internet at our disposal the whole day, we spent quite some time , surfing matrimonial sites to identify prospective grooms for her, and in general comment on everybody. The first criteria would always be, reading his ‘about me’ to see if any articles had been missed out, any haves had turned into hases, or if any commas had been ignored from essential places. Once the screening process was over (which also included his height and whether or not he read Cal n Hobbes), we would proceed to the remaining details. God knows how many people were rejected just because of a tiny error in statement, which for all we know could have been a typo. 

But the obsession stays. One doesn’t have write awesome, it’s enough that they write right. Of course, awesomeness gets extra points, but that’s not a judgment parameter for sure. I on the other hand have taken to pursuing my purva janma profession on the floor, and have become the unofficial e-mail editor for all the kids around, and some how that gives me more pleasure than shuffling financials. All this calls for a change in profession, an editor perhaps, or in charge of all communications stuff, or better still, I should probably revert back to the original profession and take proper grammar classes. That way we won’t have poor souls being judged. Atleast by people like me.


9 thoughts on “Bad Grammar? Too bad!

  1. Anonymous

    Bad Grammar? Too bad!
    You might have been killed by someone in the British Raj for pointing out people’s poor grammar… but I have a strong suspicion that I will be killed…in this life…by Sandhya…with a rusty knife…or a hand blender…for the same crime.
    Me and my former roomie used to browse the matrimonial sites…for timepass i might add. And my roomie’s pet peeve was any chick who introduced herself with a ‘myself’…. Try it out sometime though…
    Footnote: ‘Yea!’ moment for me while typing this? Realizing that I spelt suspicion right the first time around.

  2. Re: Bad Grammar? Too bad!
    Acknowledged 🙂
    Funnily , we never came across ‘myself’ characters. We had more of “I expect my wife to take care of this family as her own and never forget traditions and culture of ‘India'” Yo!

  3. Anonymous

    teacher ji kya main correct hoon?
    One doesn’t have write awesome, it’s enough that they write right.
    One doesn’t have to write awesome, it’s enough that they write right.??

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