The GM diet is over. Well, it got over almost two weeks back, but I was so busy re-gaining all the little bit of weight I had lost, by binging on potato chips, and chocolates, and ice-creams and more potato chips that I forgot to mention it.
Ok, here are the facts. It is pretty useful, I would say. You can actually see a few inches disappear, and your face appears much less puffed up than it did in the pictures taken last month, which in fact had prompted you to take such drastic measures. The enormous amount of water you are expected to consume, does in fact, ‘wash and cleanse your system’ and make you feel lighter. Though I do have a strong feeling that the intense physical work-out one undergoes, thanks to the numerous trips to the restroom you end up making, might be more than responsible for it.
The bananas and milk day seems scary even before beginning it. And that’s what makes it the easiest. Somewhat like going to watch ‘Bombay to Bangkok’, after realizing that Rediff gave it 1 star. You dread it so much, much before you actually face it, that it seems a cakewalk when you finally do. And so you practically glide through the day and the Rajma and tomatoes beckon you from day 5. Which again, if I may say, is easy. Rajma is tasty, especially with some onions, tomatoes, lime, salt and pepper, it is almost like chat. And if you like chat, this is day is god-sent. You will survive, and survive well.
Now comes the tough part, especially for people who are dumb enough to start this thing on a Monday, and are used to eating out on weekends, aka me. So you start complaining from when you wake up, because you have to eat more Rajma, and certain people (aka The Dude) sit next to you and eat Kurkure. And Potato chips. And all you get is Rajma, and if you want, cabbage. So you say, ‘we are definitely eating out, let’s go to subway and pick up a salad’. And so you do, which is a good decision, because subway is always a treat, and though you have to give the mayonnaise a miss, the mustard and sweet onion taste as good. And once that is in, you glide through the remaining day with a full stomach and satisfied taste-buds. Of course you do curse yourself once in a while for not having thought of it on day 2. But anyways, better late than never.
The last day starts well, you have survived 6 days and this is it! The jeans seem looser, the face seems to glow more (one of the other useful effects of consuming H20) and you are all happy. You have definitely lost weight, The Dude says so, and it’s ok if he is just saying it, as long as he is. You go to the mall to hang out.
And then, you give up. There is a Baskin Robbin’s outlet right in front of you, and the guy is handing huge cones of dark chocolate ice cream, and you are like, it’s almost the end of the day, it is 4 PM. And technically, technically, I started the diet at 11PM on Sunday night last week, because that’s when I went to sleep, and did not eat anything off the diet items list since then. So, technically, 8-9 hours shouldn’t matter. And ice cream is milk after all, and chocolate is a bit of cocoa beans, which are like dry fruits. And sugar, I admit, but people are allowed coffees, so why not this. Ok fine, diet over, officially!
And you go and pick up chocolate almond fantasy, two scoops in a cone, and spend the next 20 minutes relishing every bite. Of course, confirming with The Dude every few minutes, if he thought the entire week’s effort were being wasted. To which, he would helpfully, and vehemently nod a big ‘no way!’ And you get back to the ice-cream, and being happy, and your unhealthy food habits which ensure that you get back to where you were when you started. Of course, enlightened about the merits of the GM diet, and the realization of how it is not meant for people like me.