Situation: Stuck at a traffic jam(as usual) on the way back from work.
State of mind: EXTREMELY pissed.
Me: I cannot travel for two hours each way for work. Period.
The Dude: We looked for houses nuh, what can we do if it didn’t work out?
Me: I don’t know. I know what I can do, quit the job
The Dude: Why are you overreacting? So many people travel!
Me: Oh! Look who’s talking! Excuse me, but aren’t you the guy who is picked up and dropped at home, and at hours which ensure zero traffic? Please, you don’t get a say. I get to decide
The Dude: What??
Me: Here’s the deal. You’ve one year’s time to search for a house nearer to work. If you can’t we are moving on rent. That’s all. The deadline is 1st October 2010.
The Dude: ???!?
Situation: In the car on a weekend
State of mind: Relaxed and happy
Me: You know, I was thinking about the deal
The Dude: What deal?
Me: What deal? Seriously? The deal that we’re shifting to a place near work, that deal.
The Dude: Ohhh, that deal, yes, what about it?
Me: I am giving you an alternative.
The Dude: Ah, how nice! And that would be?
Me: Well, I am willing to let go of my whining about moving, IF, you get me a pug puppy before the year ends.
The Dude: How is that even related??
Me: It’s not. It’s an alternative, take it , or leave it. Also, you take care of it in the mornings,I will manage it in the evenings.
The Dude: Pugs are expensive, and difficult to manage. Will a Labrador do?
Me: Hmm, let me think about that part.
Situation: Saturday night, after a couple of rounds of beer
State of mind: Err, take a guess!
Me: I was thinking about the deal. I think I’m fine with a Labrador pup. But it has to be here before the year ends.
The Dude: I was thinking too. Of a new upgraded deal. I’m thinking of getting you both dogs, a pug AND a Lab.
Me: *Shocked* What? Seriously? By the end of this year?
The Dude: Yes yes, totally. But of course, it’s a deal, so it’s in exchange for something.
Me: Ohkaay. What would that be?
The Dude: Well the Lab is for making you stop whining about moving. And the pug is to put a stop to your rising maternal instincts*. What say?
Me: :O :O :O! *WTF*!!
* At last count, I knew of 16 (yes SIXTEEN) women who are expecting. All of them cousins,friends, colleagues of The Dude or myself. You just cannot blame me!
PS: The original version of the deal stays. But now The Dude suddenly feels that moving might actually be easier than having a dog at home. Damn.
PPS: Of course, the display of maternal instincts hasn’t stopped either! Seriously, what better way to get The Dude all jittery, than stopping suddenly at the baby clothes section in malls, and staring longingly with big sad puppy eyes at the collection on display. Hah!