No, I am not reviewing the movie. Oh come on, it released like 5 years ago? But instead, I am going to talk about the one topic which I have mentioned time and again out here, but then this post from S ‘n’ S has forced me to do a full blown post.
Babies. I am not saying that this has been the most talked about thing in my life recently. I am saying this has been the only thing being talked about for a while. Be it friends, family, cousins, relatives, colleagues, and even mere acquaintances, babies are the in thing. Wherever the conversations begin, they inadvertantly move to babies, and then stay there for a while, and end there. It is that big. Take this for an example. A friend from the graduation days, who I have not been in touch with since 2005 I think. We find each other on orkut/facebook, and add each other on Gtalk. And the conversation starts with ‘How’ve you been?’, and ‘How’s work been?’ and ‘Oh you got married!’ to ‘ Oh, for 2 and a half years!’ to our favorite topic, ‘ So when are you having a baby? It’s time right?’
Which makes me wonder what one means by the right time to have baby. By popular vote, we have arrived on the following definition of ‘Right time’
Right time = function (m, c, f, t) not necessarily in that order
Where m = No. of years you’ve been married for, where m lies between 1 and 2. (‘Oh come on! You’ve been married for two years now! How much more time do you guys need?’)
c = No. of elder first cousins who are yet to have a baby, where C=0 (‘Ah! Now that C had a baby, it’s your turn! When are you giving the good news?’)
f = No. of friends who have a baby/are planning a baby soon, where F>=1 (‘All your friends are having babies, I think this is good time!’)
t = Amount of spare time that the parents and in-laws have on hand (Sigh. I really think you should give me a grandchild now. I have all the time in the world to take care of it!)
Unfortunately in our case, we fulfil all the conditions except for C, which has been conveniently ignored because the said cousin is yet to meet condition M. So.
But that’s not the best part. The best part is the assumptions. Let me explain. Very recently, a mere acquaintance (even that is an exageration, I know this guy because he travels in our office bus) asked a friend if I was carrying. And my very shallow brain , immediately checked my tummy to see any sign of flab deposits which might have led him to believe so. But no, there was nothing (Thankfully. And now that I mentioned it, no jokes about this would be entertained. Hmph.) Turns out that the reason he was led to believe so was because he heard, on two different occassions, two different people, telling me to ‘Take care of my health’. This was when all the Swiss travel was taking a toll on me, and I had been ill for a while. So those two instances, combined with the fact that I was married, led him to believe that I might be pregnant. Seriously!
And in another scenario, I happened to mention that I have all plans to move out of the current house to a place nearer to work, and that I had given The Dude 9-10 months to find one, and the immediate reaction was ‘ Ah, so that you can have baby by then right?’ Other than that we have my parents sighing over how long they are being made to wait before they have the opportunity to ‘play’ with their Grandchild, and my MIL threatening to go to the Himalayas(?!) if we don’t give her a Grandchild by the end of this year! And you’ve got to be there to understand the hilarity of the situation when these statements are being made.
Fortunately, so far I have only been amused by all these things! And accept it, it is kinda fun when everyone around suddenly shows extreme interest in your personal life, and thankfully things haven’t reached the stage that I feel bothered by it all. Infact I use most of these instances along with my sudden surges of maternal instincts to bug The Dude. Actually, there are some more good reasons why one should submit to the maternal instincts. One is the very big worry that there is a steady decline in the quantity of names in the name bank, and everyone seems to be using up the good ones. That, and pretty maternity clothes. Oh, and 3 months paid maternity leave. Heh. I know, shallow me nuh?
But jokes apart, I love babies, and really look forward to having my own, but till we decide on the definition of the ‘right time’, I don’t think it is the right time yet. And as long we both agree to that, all is well. For now, I will keep myself busy thinking of appropriate answers to enquiries from all and sundry, and shopping for baby clothes and other accessories for all those adorable kids popping out all around me!