Hup. Two. Three. Four.

Every day, I feel sorry for myself. Sorry for the fact that I am as unfit as I am. And every day, I resolve, or at least say to myself that I would be starting some sort of a fitness regime to put things right. Soon. Only, soon never comes. Or in the few cases it does, it ends even sooner.

It would be incorrect to say that I have never made an attempt at losing weight getting fitter. From burning a hole in my pocket for a gym membership to endangering my taste-buds by going on weird-ass diets, I have done it all. If I revisit my earlier encounters with ‘good health’, I would have the following cases to highlight

Circa 2004. K campus. With all the classes, extremely haphazard schedules, amazing breakfasts that were always missed, and dinners which were better off being missed, one would think losing weight was an obvious outcome. But no. Turns out that the 2 AM Maggies, the super-rich chocolate shakes, and the self-made samosa chats, along with the hot chocolates after each class from the ‘Fresh n Honest’ lady, would not only balance the effect out, but would in fact tip it to the other side. The year saw majority guys making trips to the newly upgraded gym, and the girls taking daily walks up and down the hill. That prompted me to try it too. Only, I lasted all of 3 days, and now I think I should not have quoted this as an attempt in the first place.

Circa 2005. The first year of work, and of realizing that I in fact had no life on weekdays. With both the other roomies joining gyms at work, I was all enthusiastic about doing the same too. Only, the gym near my office was much more expensive than the in-house gym that the other two enjoyed. But armed with a will like never before, I still went ahead and enrolled myself, for a 3 month package, because that was 20% cheaper. The first month was pretty good, and I managed to go 4 days a week, and control my diet too, mainly because I would never wake up in time for a breakfast. But as soon as the second month arrived, well, as usual, I gave up. To some extent, the roomies were to blame, because they stopped too.

Circa 2007. The arrival of the Mom. Ma stayed with me for the 3 months after Pure-veg ex roomie left to B’lore (ditcher!) and before I was to get hitched to The Dude. And everybody in this world knows that the advent of the mom in the household which has till date survived on Maggi and curd rice, can only mean spoilt, pampered taste-buds and an ever expanding waistline. Again, not a good thing for someone who intends to fit in to the wedding clothes chosen and handed over for stitching in the somewhat slimmer days. So The Dude and I took it upon ourselves to go for early morning walks every day. Those were the days when 6 AM meant midnight for me, so that was a tough task alright, but I managed. For almost a month. Before work took me to London, and The Dude to Amreeka, and Bam! That was the end of the morning walks.

Circa 2007 again. The happily married couple decided that gymming together would be so romantic. And of course, would help them use the existing clothes for a longer time. So a gym was joined, and this time, despite historical evidence, the super-enthusiastic couple went ahead and took a year long membership! Explanation being, ‘Baby, we would never miss a single day when we knew how much money we were wasting by doing so’. Yeah. Right. The encounter with the gym and Disgusted face lasted a month and half, and then it was goodbye health. And money. Sob.

Circa 2008. Ok. So we are unfit. And we are incapable of indulging anything that remotely resembles physical activity. So let’s diet! The thing is, I have never ever stopped myself from eating what I like. And just like every lucky individual, my basic criteria for liking anything requires it to be deep fried, or chocolatey, or deep fried. Except for Subway sandwiches. Which by the way, I only like with cheese and mayonnaise. Heh, you get the drift. Anyway, so I go on this week long GM diet after having read so much about it, and after all the struggle with the icky amount of fruits to be consumed, and the compulsory 8 glasses of water per day, I actually managed to ‘flush out’ a couple of extra kilos and inches off me. But of course, I swore never to put myself through it again.

And obviously, I was wrong. Circa 2009, I had consciously managed hour long Yoga session everyday for almost 2 months. And all was well, until I changed jobs. And then again, it was back to the zero physical activity regime. That made me go on the GM diet again, and this time, I was pathetic. Not that I didn’t stick to the menu, but I guess the fact that I abhorred the whole concept so much now, probably ensured that it was not as effective this time around. And of course the fact that I ate an ice-cream on day 6.

Anyway, the whole point to this post is simple. I feel unfit. I feel lethargic. I have a back ache, and a neck pain and all sorts of ailments. I don’t drink water. And all this is making me very cranky. I need to do something about it, only I don’t know what. Or rather, I don’t know how. And I know that writing about it won’t really solve the issue, but then when do we write for resolutions huh? So all I can do is wish and hope and pray that we resort to some kind of a healthy lifestyle.

Soon.