Dear India Today Group,
I think you should name yourself India ‘the day after tomorrow’ group. Why you may ask me. And all I would say is please, go back and check the list of complaints at your customer care centre in the past 6 months, and you should have an answer.
Thing is, you have been providing food for my guilt-reading for every month for more than 5 years. Your Fashion Bible has always been my guilt buy, and I always went ahead and spent those 75 bucks on your magazine, though I knew it would last me all of 2 days and then I would never look at it again. Yes, I am referring to The Cosmopolitan. I never once swayed in favour of your other equally glamorous looking competitors, though you jacked up your price (by a frigging 33%!) just to stay in the same league. I was faithful, and I liked your magazine, despite the price, despite the thinning number of pages, only improved by the crazy number of advertisements you have.
And this year, I thought I was grown up enough to subscribe to your magazine. Oh, what better than getting The Cosmopolitan delivered to my door step each month, and at 33% less? It was heaven. Little did I know what rut I was getting into. It’s 6 months since my subscription commenced. And each of the six months has gone this way;
5th – *Gloom* Wait for the magazine
6th – *More Gloom* Keep waiting
7th – *Optimism* They said it will be here ‘at most’ by the 10th, this should be one of those ‘at most’ scenarios
8th -* Declining optimism* Ok, It’s still not 10th
9th – *Happiness* It’s almost the 10th!
10th – *Anger* Not here! WTH!
11th – *Desperation* Called the Customer Care, they dispatched it.
12th – *Rage* Hello?? Where is my Cosmopolitan?
13th – *Frustration* Another call to customer care
14th -*I quit*
And then, in a couple of days, the magazine arrives, bright and shiny. And this has been the case every single month. It’s 6 months. By the way. Oh and this month we had an extra step on the 3rd, when I reminded your people that they needed to dispatch the magazine, and was met with a very enthusiastic ‘ You won’t get a chance to complain!’. Well guess what, I haven’t got the copy till today.
I will tell you what is funny. I do not follow fashion. I do not follow astrology. However, I do love reading about it. And, I would want to read it on time, when it is meant to be read, when I am paying such an exorbitant amount for it. So when you give me my current month’s copy on the 17th of the month , and all the predicted good days for my sun sign fall before the 15th of the month, it doesn’t help me. Seriously. Every time I read the Bedside astrologer, I need to check my mobile and think back about what exactly I was doing on the day which was ‘good for starting a new project at work’. In all probability, I bunked that day. So, thanks, for letting me know.
As for the Fashion, I am not sure how much fun it is to know of the amazing new deals at so-and-so shoppe, running a sale only from the 1st-15th of June, on the 17th. Or even better, to read about the ‘in’ colors this summer, when the monsoons are here in all their glory. Seriously, it’s not. I need to wait for one more year for summer to arrive, and then I can use all your awesome tips, what say?
And here’s the ironic part. The whole idea of subscribing was thanks to the fact that I was getting a discount on a brand new edition. But going by your time lines, if I wait just another week and a half, the Sunday Book Bazaar at Abids, will sell me this very same copy, in pristine condition, at 15 bucks! You get the point? You’re not helping me, at all.
So, the deal is this. Either you mend your ways, which I doubt you will. Or, I go ahead and cancel my subscription and check out the other amazing options in the market. They might not be as familiar, but at least they will not let me know of the Winter sales in the city when the temperature outside is 40 degrees. Either way, you just lost yourself a dedicated reader who will never recommend subscribing from your group again. Ever.
Oh, and before I forget, I am extremely inspired by the customer complaints advertisements they are airing on TV these days, so do not, I repeat, DO NOT make me resort to desperate measures. Bleh.
No thanks to you.
Super bugged, Fashion-advice deprived,