Jaago Graahak Jaago

Dear India Today Group,  

I think you should name yourself India ‘the day after tomorrow’ group. Why you may ask me. And all I would say is please, go back and check the list of complaints at your customer care centre in the past 6 months, and you should have an answer.  

Thing is, you have been providing food for my guilt-reading for every month for more than 5 years. Your Fashion Bible has always been my guilt buy, and I always went ahead and spent those 75 bucks on your magazine, though I knew it would last me all of 2 days and then I would never look at it again. Yes, I am referring to The Cosmopolitan. I never once swayed in favour of your other equally glamorous looking competitors, though you jacked up your price (by a frigging 33%!) just to stay in the same league. I was faithful, and I liked your magazine, despite the price, despite the thinning number of pages, only improved by the crazy number of advertisements you have.  

And this year, I thought I was grown up enough to subscribe to your magazine. Oh, what better than getting The Cosmopolitan delivered to my door step each month, and at 33% less? It was heaven. Little did I know what rut I was getting into. It’s 6 months since my subscription commenced. And each of the six months has gone this way;    

5th – *Gloom* Wait for the magazine  

6th – *More Gloom* Keep waiting  

7th – *Optimism* They said it will be here ‘at most’ by the 10th, this should be one of those ‘at most’ scenarios  

8th -* Declining optimism* Ok, It’s still not 10th  

9th – *Happiness* It’s almost the 10th!  

10th – *Anger* Not here! WTH!  

11th – *Desperation* Called the Customer Care, they dispatched it.  

12th – *Rage* Hello?? Where is my Cosmopolitan?  

13th – *Frustration* Another call to customer care  

14th -*I quit*  

And then, in a couple of days, the magazine arrives, bright and shiny. And this has been the case every single month. It’s 6 months. By the way. Oh and this month we had an extra step on the 3rd, when I reminded your people that they needed to dispatch the magazine, and was met with a very enthusiastic ‘ You won’t get a chance to complain!’. Well guess what, I haven’t got the copy till today.  

I will tell you what is funny. I do not follow fashion. I do not follow astrology. However, I do love reading about it. And, I would want to read it on time, when it is meant to be read, when I am paying such an exorbitant amount for it. So when you give me my current month’s copy on the 17th of the month , and all the predicted good days for my sun sign fall before the 15th of the month, it doesn’t help me. Seriously. Every time I read the Bedside astrologer, I need to check my mobile and think back about what exactly I was doing on the day which was ‘good for starting a new project at work’. In all probability, I bunked that day. So, thanks, for letting me know.  

As for the Fashion, I am not sure how much fun it is to know of the amazing new deals at so-and-so shoppe, running a sale only from the 1st-15th of June, on the 17th. Or even better, to read about the ‘in’ colors this summer, when the monsoons are here in all their glory. Seriously, it’s not. I need to wait for one more year for summer to arrive, and then I can use all your awesome tips, what say?  

And here’s the ironic part. The whole idea of subscribing was thanks to the fact that I was getting a discount on a brand new edition. But going by your time lines, if I wait just another week and a half, the Sunday Book Bazaar at Abids, will sell me this very same copy, in pristine condition, at 15 bucks! You get the point? You’re not helping me, at all.  

So, the deal is this. Either you mend your ways, which I doubt you will. Or, I go ahead and cancel my subscription and check out the other amazing options in the market. They might not be as familiar, but at least they will not let me know of the Winter sales in the city when the temperature outside is 40 degrees. Either way, you just lost yourself a dedicated reader who will never recommend subscribing from your group again. Ever.  

Oh, and before I forget, I am extremely inspired by the customer complaints advertisements they are airing on TV these days, so do not, I repeat, DO NOT make me resort to desperate measures.  Bleh.

No thanks to you.  

Super bugged, Fashion-advice deprived,  

Me.

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43 thoughts on “Jaago Graahak Jaago

  1. That’s very sad and annoying by all means 😈
    WE subscribe so that we get hold of our copy of the magazine before it hits the stands at a special price for being a loyal reader.
    When all these reasons are hit hard, it comes down to no- sense left in subscribing at all.

    I’d recommend you write in a letter of complaint to their editorial board and also the subscription department. They should by all means compensate for the inconvenience caused.

      • DI says:

        Hehe! You did it anyway! 😀 This claiming bit is tough, first is first, no matter what!

        I know, I have decided to take a more serioud course of action if this happens the next month also 😦 The Dude thinks I am delaying it way too much, but I thought of giving them just one more chance! Sigh!

  2. I can’t help laughing at what u have written 🙂 Same thing happened with my newspapers, the boy used to deliver it one day and be off the next and may be the next day and come back after a week!! Grrrrrrrr …. withdrawal symtoms, to I stopped that guy from putting any more papers at my door and went for an early morning walk to pick up mine.. 🙂 🙂 At least I get the satisfaction of some exercise and also reading the paper 😉

    • DI says:

      😀 CB claimed!

      Anyway, I know it sounds funny, but it is actually SO bugging! 😮 Wasteful updates on what good movies are running on TV this month, food festivals, all waste! Ugh!
      Hmm, I am thinking of resorting to my good old magazine stall at the bus stop too, if this continues 😦 Sob.

      LOL at the exercise bit, that’s good motivation! 😀

    • DI says:

      😀 No, you are welcome to find it funny! But yes, don’t ever buy The Cosmo! Let’s see what the better half has to say to this deal 😉
      I meant it to be a little funny I guess, I will keep the seriousness for the actual mail I send these people. Someday. 😦

    • DI says:

      😦 Eep! I guess I should be as angry too! No, it’s not about loyalty really, I am now totally inspired to actually send out a complaint mail! 😐

  3. Vik says:

    As a matter of policy I cannot sympathise with anyone reading Cosmo…leave alone an addictive subscriber. I can only muster a ‘you deserve this’…. sorry! 😦

    But I did have the same friggin problem with India Today for over 2 years when I was subscribing to Business Today. I swore them off and haven’t looked back since.

    Btw, at that time, I sent a mail to Arun Poorie who was editor.

    • DI says:

      Hehe! I do not expect you to sympathise with the Cosmo reading bit 😀 But the rant is against The India Today Group and it’s horrid service to subscriptions :P!
      And no, I am not addicted, it’s just that I have paid , and I NEED my magazine! Oh and I also read Femina, Elle, Vogue and the like. So!

      Oh, good to know they suck in general, I guess I will go ahead and do an angry ‘letter to the editor’ too! Did that change anything for you by the way?

    • DI says:

      😦 I am sad! Instead of bashing up the group, I am being called patient 😦 That’s a thappad to my self-created ‘Impatient’ image! 😦

      • DI says:

        No-no! The numbers are days only! 😮 I would never subscribe to them again anyway!
        it’s 6 months, and my grouch is I never get the mag before the promised 10th , that’s all! No more speculation on my ‘disgusting level of patience’ pleeeeassee 😦

  4. Yes, agree with Divs.. you have a LOT of patience.. write to them now! and I would suggest stop reading the magazine :P, switch over to a competitor.

  5. … And this is the reason why you should go right ahead and finish the test that I wrote to a whole lot people about (check your gmail). This world needs more people like you to make sure that customer service improves 😛

    Ji haan bilkul, main makkhan laga rahii hoon. It will make my life easier 😛

    Btw I am quite sure you know how badly customer service over the years must have scarred me that I actually made a career out of it 😛 😛 Btw I had paused my seventymm subscription for a bit. And now they won’t restart no matter how much I plead with them. And Big Flix doesn’t have most DVDs I want.

    Life suck, DI! :((

    • DI says:

      Hehe! I did see the mail, but then you sent another one saying server down, so I left it! Kuch free milega ? 😀
      And they didn’t accept you back ? 😮 Sue them! Customer is King!
      This is June na Tam, life cannot suck, it’s awesomeness! 😀

  6. Free ka shirt milega.. Maybe a few nice, classy t shirts and shirts for u too.. Give me 4 days before I tell you the details. Now just go and finish the test 😛

    Who didn’t accept me back? seventymm? No, no – only their associates are stupid. Didn’t know what to do. Now it’s done. Frasier will be back in my life from tomorrow.. There’s still justice in this world 😛

    And haan bhai haan it’s June. It’s “awesomeness” 😀

  7. Yeah, Customer Service sucks and all…but it is COSMO 😀

    Hey, take those weird Compatibility Tests Cosmo boasts of all the time, ok!

    Pliss Pliss….take it take it…:D and tell the results here ok? OK. Thanks 😀

    • DI says:

      Hey! You’re back! I know, it’s Cosmo!
      Oh no, I am not into those tests, very boring, and not at all in tune with our kinda lives! The fashion bit, well that’s totally awesome! 😀

  8. ajay says:

    You’ve got some patience. But the best would be to pick it from the news-stands. No hassle of subscription. That way you can also have a look at the magazine before deciding to buy as and when you like it 😀 Next time they repeat this (which is very likely) write them an angry letter and also include the chronology of declining- hope turned frustration turned anger. 😀 😀

  9. Jaag gayi Grahak! 😀
    But seriously, Customer Care sucks everywhere, nuh? Magazines, Banks, Mobile Operators, Credit Cards, Electronics and Home Appliances. Literally, all Customer Care sucks big time. I could write a whole book on my weird experiences with them! May be I will. 😉
    You should take this up in a big way. Maybe approach a Consumer Rights firm, who will take it up on your behalf and get you a compensation of 15 lakhs, for the mental torture! Wow. How cool would that be? What will you do with so much money DI? Throw across some here! 😀
    Back to the point, do something about it!

    • DI says:

      I love the idea of getting compensated! Anything Anything! 15 lakhs will make me quit my job for a whole year and relax! Now I want the compensation 😦

  10. rechristened says:

    Awww, they hiked their price!! Last I bought a Cosmo, it was still Rs. 75. And then they came out with some swimsuit edition, which was only to make me feel jealous and miserable. Bleurghh!!!

    I was thinking of subscribing to Vogue–you get goodies with it too. But maybe not anymore. waaaaaaaaan, how will I look at pictures of skincare and makeup and droooool now? :((((((

    • DI says:

      Sigh. I know man! I guess newsstands are actually better, that way you can pick between which mag you prefer that month! By the way, drooling over those exoptic goodies (knowing I am never picking any up), my fave pastime too! Probably the reason I pick up these magazines! Totally droolworthy!

      Is Vogue also India times group? I am not sure is all magazine groups suck this bad!

      • rechristened says:

        No, I don’t think Vogue is with the Times group. But their subscription comes with awesome goodies most of the time 😀 I have never subscribed to any of the magazines yet…so not sure how others are. But I am hoping not all groups are as bad.

  11. When I first saw this post and the numbers, I thought u r counting days 😛 Only when I read the post did I know its months …. as most of them hv said, Jai Ho to ur patience!

    • DI says:

      😀 Hehe, I am not sure if he is telling the truth, but The Dude said he did mail it to them! I am actually hoping he did, because I am sure I will shrug it off and forget!

  12. Of course, my recognition of the truth of the quoted passage only shows that I am equally susceptible to the glow that the confirmation of prejudice gives. When such truth is spoken by someone with talent and precision, it elevates one’s own regard for one’s intelligence.

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