Friday first

Ok. So this Friday, I am actually going to do something I never thought I would do ever. On the blog, I mean. Ok-ok, before you over anticipate or get scandalised, it is not anything big. Ok, it is. Basically, this Friday I give you one of the three pieces of fiction I have ever written. This was the third, and I had published it on another secret blog to generally check out people’s reactions. Eerily enough, this I did exactly one year ago. Ok, one year and one day. So presenting to you, the first time ever on Forever in blue jeans. (Oh, and before I forget, please be kind!)

Return Journey

Hey there. I hope you’re doing just fine. I am sure you are actually. I am fine as well.  

He was fine. That was exactly what he was infact. Nothing more, nothing less.  

Everything is just as you had left it. It rained heavily today though, and the entire road is clogged. But it’s ok, the kids are forever sailing their paper boats. Like how we would always sit at our doorsteps and race our soggy little boats? Such fun! You remember right? Ofcourse you do! You always took the biggers ones from me, Bully!  

There was a slight drizzle, but he kept his window down. His car was speeding down the tar road that would lead into the town, and probably branch into several other roads which would pass from infront of their houses. The road was almost empty. The speedometer was touching the 100 kmph mark. Out of nowhere, a couple of bikes zoomed past him and disappeared into the horizon. He could hardly recognize the place anymore. 

Just yesterday, I was walking towards the market at about 7 in the evening, and I realised how dark it was. No one had turned on their lanterns yet. But when I looked up at the sky, it was bewitching! I am serious. You would have never seen a blacker sky, and the stars were looking so bright, that in a few moments the whole town looked completely lit up! It was amazing. Remember when we used to sit on your roof top in the night and stare at the sky, and try to guess which ones were stars and which planets? It reminded me of that. If you had been there, we could have done that yesterday!  

It was 9 in the night. He put his head out of the window and looked up at the sky. It was a smokey grey, with wires from the electric poles lining the streets criss-crossing over his head. The lights from the town reflected and tinted the sky orange. And where in the world were all the stars? He squinted to find at least one. Ah! There was one! He smiled. The star was moving, and what was this, it was yellow? Oh God, that was just an airplane. He felt totally lost. 

And everything is so green!! The rains were quiet unexpected actually. Ashu was saying his dad is really worried that the mangoes will fall off before hand and not ripen enough. I was thinking, that if you had been here as well, we could all go and pick up the raw ones at least. Yum! Thinking about them makes my mouth water! I was telling Papa to buy a mango farm. There are so many near the water tank, on the right side? Imagine if we do! We don’t have to sneak around in others’ farms anymore! He asked me to plant a tree for myself if I was so keen! Such a spoilsport he is! Do you get mangoes there?  

They were almost reaching the town. A huge concrete water tank rose some meters ahead on their right. Small shopping complexes, apartments, offices lined the area surrounding it, and as far as he could see. “Sa’ab, yahaan se kahaan?”. He was jolted out of his thoughts by his driver, who had been quiet till now. “Bas seedha, aur pehla right. Teesra ghar wahaan.” Hopefully, he thought. Nothing seemed to be where it was. 

Quite frankly, I miss you. Nothing is the same without you around you know. I have others of course, but no one is like you. We were so similar! Perfect for each other. But you had to leave. And I am happy for you, I really am. And I hope you get what you want. But come back soon. I know, I know, it’s just a month since you left, but it feels so long! 

Twelve years had passed and it all looked so unfamiliar to him. The car stopped as per the instructions. The third house after a right turn. In place of the small white house he remembered, stood a two floored concrete house. A tall mango tree stood inside the compound. He got off the car and stood looking at it. It reached the balcony on the first floor. 

But whenever you decide to return, just remember that I would be waiting for you. Right where I was when you left. 

“Just in time to try out its awesome fruit, better than anything we’ve ever had.” His heart skipped a beat, and he turned towards the gate. There she stood smiling. Just as she had promised. He smiled back, relieved. 

Nothing had changed.

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75 thoughts on “Friday first

    • DI says:

      Yay Nuttie, yes you’re first! 😀
      Seriously, you liked it? Abbah! I am more than relieved! Thanks a lot! But why the 😦 ?

      • Yay…considering i have been refreshing my google reader every 5 mins since morning to pounce on any1 who blogs…i deserve it 😀

        Loved it Di…very beautiful descriptions…the 😦 is just a sense of nostalgia i guess 🙂

  1. WOW !!! Very beautifully written…loved the description of the star lit sky, the mango trees – the memories woven so well….fantastic. 🙂

    • DI says:

      Erm, that will need a couple of hundred doses of extra courage! And another vella and idealess friday like yesterday, but you never know!
      Thankie!

  2. Wow! Now that’s a side of you I never knew existed. Nor can I claim to be “oh-so-much-like-you” this time. Mammmaaa!!!

    Ok melodrama aside, I absolutely loved it.. And I echo Chinkurli’s sentiment 🙂

    • DI says:

      Kyun? Kyun? Arre, same old me it is! Once in a while ho jaata hai! Thanks 😀 And like I mentioned, publishing the other too will need a lot more courage!

  3. Aaah! Nice to know this pen weilding fiction writer side of thou! This was bherrry nice, loved your descriptions, very visual! Now waiting for the other two! 🙂
    I get very worried when the bloggers on my Reader write posts on continuous days! So little happening in my life in comparison.;)

    • DI says:

      Thank you Thank you 😀
      This is impulsive e, the regular blogger is the real me! 😀
      No ya, this was written a whole year ago, was out of anything to post, so put it up anyway!

  4. DI says:

    Dear all, i happen to be at pvr about to watch inception and hence unable to respond immediately though i am dying to. brb, keep your feedback coming 🙂

  5. Great writing! You are nice 🙂 I would have ended it like this:

    There she stood smiling. Just as she had promised. He smiled back, relieved. As he lowered his eyes, he caught sight of the second pair of eyes. Her eyes, full of curiosity. As they met his, shyness took the place of curiosity and slowly, the little mouth, her mouth, teased into a small, apprehensive smile. His own heart sinking way past his mouth, he smiled back.

    Nothing had changed. Everything had changed.

    😉 I am cruel like that.

    Oh – I don’t mean to impose my idea on your story, feel free to not publish the comment, just wanted you to read 🙂 And I love this blog theme.

  6. DilOnTheRocks says:

    Aha..Secret blog..reader’s pulse…My thoughts exactly. Enjoyed ur first finction. You have good imagination and I loved the way you described everything. Dil Maange More..

  7. ajay says:

    You’ve written it so beautifully. Subtle and finely nuanced. And your style of storytelling. While reading, I imagined myself to be in that cab. It was all playing like a movie. Loved it. I can understand the apprehension when you publish your story for the first time. But you took too long a time to publish it. Anyway, now that we have found a writer in you, please please write more fiction. I’ll keep nagging you if you don’t 😀

    • DI says:

      Thank you Ajay! 😀 I know, I know, it look me too long, but what to do? 😀 Glad yopu could visualise it! I wanted it to be that way!

  8. smartassbride says:

    vivid sketch.

    Loved the Voice in Italics. And the way you brought the contrast between the past and the present.

    I loved the thought where you describe roads branching and the careless wondering of the character that may be one of the roads passed in front of their house. nicely done.

    I like sad endings(in books. In real life and movies, quite the reverse), so i was disappointed that nothing had changed in the end 😀

    • DI says:

      Thanks Abi! I like the feedback 😀

      Hmmm, I am incapable of doing sad endings, actually no, I make an attempt to not do sad endings, they depress me 😦

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