It’s not so bad, not so bad

I am waiting for 5:30 PM. Right now, it is 4:25 PM. Which is like a whole hour and 5 minutes away from 5:30 PM. Which is plain sad

Ok, now it 4:26 PM, and I am feeling a little better. I can see the the very grey skies right outside my window. And that makes me happy. Grey, cloudy skies. Looks like I haven’t had enough of the rains yet. The rains which clog the streets, ensure that there is a traffic jam every single day on my way back home, even cause power cuts. But then, these are the rains which killed the harsh-harsh summer, which make you want to snuggle deeper into the blanket and listen to the thunder, and in general make you want to listen to ‘Bahara’ and ‘Shaam’ on loop and do this Bollywood style twirling around in the open. And of course, which bring up the water table in our area, so that we get water 24 hours a day, and no longer  do I need to wake up at 7 in the morning on a Sunday to wash my hair.

Ok, coming to the reason why i started this post in the first place. So, I was doing this self-introspection thing yesterday, during a relatively lazy and jobless hour at work, and I thought of this weird situation and tried to analyse it bit. I was like, ok, first some background. I consider being able to weave magic from words as the biggest form of art. The biggest ever. So the situation was, if I were given an opportunity to trade the way I look (good, bad, ugly not the point, looks as of today, and when I say trade, I mean change to something less acceptable to you than your current state), for the ability to write this amazing book, which was to be a sure short commercial hit, and at the same time, garner positive critical acclaim, would I do it? The answer was no. Without much thought. Which then made me think if that made me an extremely shallow person.

I thought yes. Because of all the regular banter about looks being temporary, and inner beauty, and what is inside matters and what not. But when I put it forth to The Dude, he came up with the perfect retort. He said, consider the exact opposite situation. ‘What if you get to fix every small issue that you pick with your looks, your hair, or weight, or height, to match exactly what you think is perfect, but then, you would lose the ability to write whatever little bit you do now, and also the teeniest possibility of ever being able to write something substantial is lost forever, would you be ok?’ Apparently not. So that made me feel all better. What do you say?

Why am I writing all this here, because I thought this was one of the biggest examples of self-interrogation that I have ever put myself through, and that deserved a special mention. This is no way intended to make you folks worry about my state of mind, or if I am in general, ‘losing it’. Though fact of the matter is, I am to some extent losing it because The Dude is a mean guy and he is ditching me for 2 months. I think one should sign some sort of an agreement pre-marriage, limiting the number of days one is allowed to stay away. And no, it doesn’t matter if it is for work, staying away is staying away. Period.

That, and the fact that today is the last the day the whole of our team is together. One of my earliest friends from work is leaving, and it is just sad. Because this is the first time in my whole 5 years of work history that I had friends at work. Good, fun, like-minded friends. I still have the rest, but this gives me an ominous feeling that the group is degenerating.

Anyway, it is now 5:02 PM, and the world seems rosier. No, that is a wrong word.  It is grey-er. And grey is nice. And things are nice. Ok, not so nice, but not so bad either. I am being positive. So that things are positive. It works no, apparently. Not that I know, or care. But still. And I know I am not making much sense now, so that would be the end of the post.



36 thoughts on “It’s not so bad, not so bad

    1. staying away is staying away – I totally agree 😛 Whatever the reason is 😉
      Oh I know hw it feels when a gud friend @ work leaves 😦 Hugs!

      Wah wah! What self-interrogation 😉 EOD and am nt even in a state to fire that qs @ myself 😛 😛 Dude got a nice point there 8)

      1. 😦 I know, I am pretty sad, and it is just unfair!
        About the self interrogation, heheh, totally hypothetical, as-is thing, but just made me think! Like I said, his retort made me feel better 😀
        And yes ofcourse, FIRST! 😀

  1. Aiyyyo! DI! I swear, I was doing the EXACT same thing at 4:30. It was raining outside and after I had looked at the watch for the nth time and called my Mum the 4th time telling her how desperately I was waiting for 5.30, I just gave up and started staring at the monitor, doing nothing! Its 5:13 and I can’t tell you how much I want to go out because it is grey here too!
    Now I’ll go read the post.

    1. Hehhe! 😀 Yay for us ‘ busy’ people at work!

      Yenniway, I am off to the gym at 5:30! Yay me! Not for gymming, but for actually waiting to do it! 😀

      1. Waah waah waah! What introspection! I had to read the para twice to make out exactly what you were trying to ask yourself.
        Why would you trade your looks for words? Anyhoo. I think I managed to grasp your logic finally. And The Dude’s logic too.
        I will now pray, both for your’s and The Dude’s sanity’s sake, that his trip be cut short and you both be together! 😉
        Oh and positivity is good! 😀

        1. I am so sorry for having subjected you to this stuff. Thing is, it was a depressing moment, 4:30 PM and I really had nothing better to do. And, I did think about this, so 😛 Yes yes, I need all the prayers for my sanity, I am SO losing it! Hehe, first of all, thinking weird things, and secondly, blogging about it. Ugh!

        1. Seriously? Meri misery, tumhara fun? I just re-read the post, and halfway through I was asleep. Ugh! Ok, I will do myself a favor, and put up another one very soon!

  2. Two whole months!! That is just unfair 😦 :(.. I am completely with you on the pre-marriage contract!

    In fact I feel the respective companies should also be made to sign such a contract so that they don’t send ppl out for more than say a couple of weeks at max 😉

  3. Two months….how rude…!! i would contemplate suing his workplace and urs too…if they dont send u with him.

    Lol – my response while i was reading your rhetoric was No…about the writing bit, i might consider if i can loose all the additional fat..!!!

    Desperate times call for desperate measures and all…ok it’s 6:54 and time for me to head off for my yoga class…sorry 6:55

    1. Hehe, I don’t know, we should seriously sue them all, get millions of bucks and then use to live life without working. Ah, bliss!
      Erm, That’s what! We do give importance to looks, all of us, don’t we? And then I feel all shallow 😦 Damn!
      Have fun! Just got back from the gym , and I am one happy person!

  4. I have never been supremely glad about how I look or write. And I would still pick being able to sing like a rockstar on stage if I had only one wish. Go figure 😛

    1. Ooh, that I like! Sing like a rock star on stage seems so much cooler! 😉 Anyway the whole idea was general trading between different ‘pluses’ one might want to have, hehe! Nothing more!

  5. Me likes the way the Dude thinks..his logic cannot be faulted.

    2 not good..and you don’t even get to see each other at all?? That is horrible.. How can he or his company do that to you??

    1. 😦 I don’t know, really on’t know.

      Anyway, I am trying some stunts to get him back atleast for a week , considering he is visiting two different places, but lets see how far that goes!

  6. Beauty is imp for people who are not very close. Just like when you go to a mall or rest. you wear a nice outfit because ‘you want to look good’ (Although you don’t know people out there) but at home we can roam around in pajamas, without make-up etc.

    But we have been conditioned to think like that ki Log kya kahenge. How they will judge us. Society in general judge on your superficial feature as long as they don’t know you in person.

    Well as long as you prefer Grey over rosy Its all fine. 😛 , we are in same age bracket 😛

  7. rechristened

    Aww, totally with you on the better half being away for extended periods. Sucks.

    And about your introspection question, it’s interesting. I want to find out too. But first I need to find out what do I consider the greatest gift of all.

    Oh yeah, an LV bag! Will I trade my looks for an LV bag? Yes. Oh wait, NO! Yes…ummm

    Ah, what a profound moment. Heh heh.

    1. Ooooh, I will do it for a Macbook! Yes! Chah, that just made me even shallower didn’t it?;)

      Again, it was not about ‘greatest gift’, seriously! It was about something you’re happy with, just about. Oh, but Macbook, macbook *drool*! Anything for it!
      And yes, these guys should be sued for these travels, I swear!

  8. Yayy! Good decision DI. What we are is already the best 🙂
    2 months..poor you 😦
    Frnds at work..That seems like me. The last time I started making best of frriends, I moved out 😦 Thats so sad…

    1. It is SO unfair nuh? I have not been very lucky wrt to friends at work, and finally when I make some, someone has to move! 😦
      Hehehe, what we are is the best yes 🙂
      And oh yes, I go mad even thinking about how I am going to spend all the time around! Need suggestions!

  9. Awesome introspective post 😀
    When we look at things the other way round, it helps to get the hidden logic that makes feeling content for all that we already have lot easier 🙂 🙂

    I agree, staying away is staying away, no excuses acceptable!!

    I know how it feels when an old good buddy at work leaves 😦
    Hugs DI 🙂

    Loved this post, I hope it rained on your way back home 😀 😀


    1. 😀 Thanks CB! Yes, it rained, and it was awesome, just enough the mood better once again!

      I have nothing more to say about The ditcher Dude and the friends who choose to leave me at the wrong time 😦

  10. Oh, he is going to be away for 2 months…its quite difficult…I know it…just take care. Keep yourself busy…extremely busy, damn busy…OK ???? 🙂

    Self-interrogation – WOW, even I do it. 🙂 But yours sounded more complicated for me….or may be so far, I had been doing very simple ones… 😉

    OK – I wouldn’t change myself (moral values, principles, passion or anything that makes me) for anything in this world. Acclaim can be achieved by other means too – but if I’ve lost my basic personality, even a little bit, I really won’t be able to enjoy it. Right ???

    1. Yay! I like that. We shouldn’t need to change anything to get more of something else! 🙂 Every bit of what you said is what makes me me, and if anything changes, I am a different person!
      I am I am, going to try and keep myself crazy busy 😦 No other way out!

  11. Candid Chitchats

    The Dude is going away for 2 months? That’s bad. Like someone said in one of the comments, keep yourself very busy. And blog more. ok va.
    Now why don’t you come out with a fab Friday post(the bad selfish ME).. like leaving out all that is grey-er and picking up all that is rosier?

    1. 😦 😦
      I don’t want to talk about it even. Ditcher Dude.
      More blogging, I really hope that is one of the ‘better’ effects!
      And err, ok, let’s try to bring in the roses sometime! But you didn’t like my Friday post? 😦

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