Welcome to Zokipedia! Your one stop shop for a peek into what little Zo believes in, and believes in so strongly, that Mumma Papa have kinda started wondering if all that they have known and learnt so far, could actually be incomplete? If there are things in this world that they never knew of really, but which were otherwise very very obvious. But thanks to Zo, they can learn again! So while we work at compiling the never-ending list of Zo-facts, here’s what we have so far.
– All things cloth produce milk. If the Cafeteria committee, aka Mumma, takes more than 10 seconds to rush, sterilize her hands, before picking you up for your feed, you will turn to this alternative source of nourishment, which is usually in the form of her blanket, or pillow. So much for all the sterilization.
– It is perfectly normal to generally scratch your own face when there is nothing better to do. Or tug at your own hair. Also, it is essential that these acts are followed by high decibel screeching, while Mumma wonders what she did wrong this time around.
– Bye-bye ‘Rock-a-by’ babies. Those days are over. Now all we want is an elevation of about 5 feet, and someone to keep is mobile all the time. Now the elevation requirement can only be met by the 6 feet tall Papa, so unless he walks around carrying us, we will not stay still.
– You know what diapers are for, don’t you? Ofcourse, to soak all the pee and poop. And the rule of thumb is, if Mumma or Papa decide to change the diaper after a few rounds, ensure that you retain some of the stuff inside. This is to be ejected either when a) They are making an attempt at cleaning you up b) If they have left you on the bare bed for a minute while they get the diaper, in that case, right then or c) As soon as the fresh diaper is fixed in place.
– Food supply has to be uninterrupted. In case of any interruption, one should cry, and at a decibel level that, now you should be used to it, makes Mumma and Papa feel super guilty. And ofcourse, these interruptions would always be caused by you yourself, but that, doesn’t change a thing. Crying is a norm.
– Blankets are a strict no-no. Anything that restricts our movements is evil. So swaddles are our enemies. We will not sleep, our stop crying until we are left to freeze in our crib, with not one piece of cloth, except our own clothes (thankfully), and in case these are the tie-up kinds, erm, those are not welcome too.
– Sleeping straight on your back is for wusses. Sleep on your side, with your legs and arms splayed around. Or arch your neck and back to an angle that the back of the head touches your bum. Almost.
– Life is about expressing yourself. And the way to go about doing that is changing your facial expressions about 20 times in a minute. Of course, while doing this, open one eye to check out the two individuals sitting with their mouths open, trying to decipher each expression as you move on to the next. This exercise can also be treated as a source of entertainment.
– It is also perfectly normal to make a variety of noises of different kinds and decibel levels, while awake, while feeding, and even while sleeping. These noises can be classified as per Mumma and Papa’s whims and fancies. Zokipaedia has currently recorded Peacock call, balloon deflation, and in general, animal sounds.
– One should not assume that a month old baby would be incapable of handling her own cutlery. So when we try to grab the feeding spoon, it is because we can manage it on our own, and for that matter, better. If the milk spills, that’s, well, just pure, ill luck.
That would be the end of Zokipedia Chapter 1 for you. This has been specially brought to you, on the awesome occasion of Baby Zo’s completion of a month on this planet. Going by Zo’s standards, in all probability, Chapter 2 should be here sooner than Month 2. Till then, Happy Learning!