I do not make new year resolutions simply because of my belief that life has this unavoidable need to turn back and slam it right back at your face, and say “Booyah!”. And no, I do not believe in the “resolutions are meant to be broken” theory either, because that is just such a waste of time. I would rather not make any to begin with, and save us all a world of time and effort. And I do just that, and it suits me fine.
What it doesn’t help in is at the end of the year while everyone does an yearly round up of things and boasts about which ones of their resolutions they kept, and to what extent, I have nothing, and it makes me sad. They also talk of failed resolutions and I smirk inwardly and say “Ha!” to myself, but most of the time it is the former. So then, I conveniently choose the one thing I did in the past year, that makes me most happy and call it that. My last year’s resolution. Moral of story, I do make resolutions, only after the year has almost ended.
If it did not make sense, well, it is not supposed to. This whole thing about not making resolutions started pretty much immediately after I understood the concept of resolutions, and even it’s definition maybe. And I was a late bloomer. I think the earliest memory of a New Year resolution I have is when the year 2000 was dawning upon us, and I was preparing with full gusto for my Class 12 boards. My “resolution” was to score 90%+ in the exams, and subsequently get an admission into the B.Com Honours course at Shri Ram College of Commerce. How do I remember this? I have a diary entry to prove it. I have also mentioned, “Along with a place at the College’s hostel” in this entry, because I knew my dad wasn’t sending me otherwise. Yep, I had my priorities set.
This very example proves that I did not really get the concept of resolutions even then. What else explains that I conveniently forgot the apparent difference between said word, and a “wish”? And that I was writing it on New Year’s eve, rather than on Christmas eve? As a letter to Santa Claus? Either way, it didn’t work out. My resolution. For all you know Santa read it as I wrote it and kept it in his stack of wishes for the next year, considering I was always a good kid. Only, by then, it was too late. Also, I might be joking about it now, but I was pretty heartbroken about it back then.
Another thing is ,while I am all about new beginnings, fresh starts, clean notebooks etc, I am also particular about these beginnings being perfect. Particular being just a tad short of being an OCD. Actually, being an OCD, and a little more. So when my 2000 began on such a sad note, I was devastated. I mean come on, this was the much hyped beginning of a New millenium right? And here I was, sitting where I did not dream I would be 6 months into it, and hating every moment of it. I pretty much decided that this year had set tone for the rest of my life, and that very belief, sucked.
I also decided that this situation had something to do with my last moment scribbling of the resolutions, while I should have planned and documented it, and perhaps even laminated it much in advance. So I decided to pay a little more attention to the whole resolution making process. But I would invariably delay the whole thing, and there we would be, sitting on New Year’s eve, me with zero resolutions, adamant that I would take my time but eventually do it right, even if it ran into early January.
Only, it didn’t. It practically ran into the next quarter, half a year, and into the next year. Basically, it meant, no resolutions. And with that, life got better too. My whole “Oh I am doomed for life my start to the millenium was so bad” theory was being challenged, when relatively good things happened in my life. And when anything went wrong, anything, including me breaking the 500 Rs frames of my brand new glasses, which I was convinced I did not need but was made to buy anyway, I blamed it on the sucky New Millenium I was having. But like I said, the few good things made up for the bad ones, and I kind of concluded that I was better off with no resolutions than with ones which did not work out anyway (yep, still in the wish = resolution mode), or ones which I did not have a ‘shubh muhurat’ to make.
Until. 2 years ago, at the dawn of 2011, Facebook was flooded with “ The end of a decade” messages. And I got all rustled up at the idea of so many people calling this year, the beginning of a new decade when we all know it was the last. When a sane person explained to me that I was actually wrong, that the Gregorian Calendar actually begins with year 1, and not zero, and so, technically, 2011 was infact, the beginning of a new decade.
I wikied enough before I accepted it publically. It was true. For the world, by which I mean my Facebook crowd, this was just a status update proven wrong. For me, it was much more. It meant, that 2011 was the start of a new decade. It meant that 2001 had been the start of a new decade. It meant that 2001, and not 2000 had been the start of a New millenium. It meant, that I did not have a crappy start to the new millenium, just a crappy end to the old one.
It meant, life was good again. And also explained to the little superstitious person in me, why things did fall into place during the past few years eventually. All of a sudden all the bad things that happened in the past 10 years, which I had attributed to the bad start seemed way too small to even remember. And the good things, well, they started looking good! So technically I could start all over with my resolution building again.
Only, I didn’t. Not in 2011. Not in 2012. And I blame lack of enthusiasm, and time respectively. And both years, I think I made do with the retrospective resolution theory(2011 – hog as much as I could because this was one chance that wouldn’t return, and 2012 – shed that weight now!).
For 2013, we’ll wait and watch. If I end up not doing anything anyway, I can always call it the year where I resolved to not make any resolutions because I had better things to do, like watching random movies, and shopping at the End of Season Sales that have started earlier than usual this year.
And next year this time, I am sure I will understand.