I sort of understand now why people start their day with coffee. For most folks, caffeine helps them wake up, concentrate. My day starts with tea, but my work day, which starts almost 4 hours later, starts with strong, black coffee. And this is not to wake me up or to make me focus. It is just to ensure that I don’t hate world and destroy it.
I have again been extremely erratic at the blog, and the reason is for once, quite clear in my head. I am undergoing serious existential crisis these days, and this has sort of taken over everything my conversations with everyone, especially with my own self. And since what I write here is pretty much a script of what I am thinking, I was worried I would end up posting everything philosophical and zen and why life and is this life and really why this life. And the easiest way to do that was to stop posting altogether. Yes, convenient.
I have also piled up my life with way too many things these days – basically striking the proverbial kulhadi on my foot, and continuing to do so every freaking day. My schedule is so packed, so full, that I am left with practically no breathing space. Just to give you some idea, my day goes wake up > send Zo to school > go for my workout (Class. Workout class. Paid workout class. Which makes bunking infinitely more guilt-inducing) > have breakfast > get ready > go to work (and die, literally die) > return and have dinner > read/play with Zo > Make Zo sleep > Talk to the Dude/ watch 30 an episode of Baby Daddy > ‘try’ reading/studying and fail miserably > go to bed feeling quite pathetic.
So with 5 days of my week resembling a Bombay Local at 6 PM at Dadar, I am very tired and exhausted all the time. My theory that if you are doing things you love, you don’t feel the pain – it sounds like some cheesy life hack in a self-help book, or worse still, one that’s being circulated on Facebook, which will never ever work and will annoy the one reading it. What is even more annoying is my constant state of discontent seems to be my own doing and there seems to be absolutely no way to get out of it. This pretty much explains what I said right in the beginning – my existential crisis.
Amidst all the chaos, we managed to take 4 days off for a road trip after a fairly long time. If you think we were crazy to do this when the sun was scorching and baking the earth at 42 degrees Celsius, you are absolutely right. Plus this was to a place just as hot, a tad rockier and with quite a bit of walking around to do. But it was great fun, and we limited the outings to the mornings and the evenings and reserved the rest of the time for a lot of eating and drinking in our little air conditioned world. Zo ODed a bit more on TV than I would have liked. But I was thrilled that when she was presented with an alternative mode of entertainment – watching a family of monkeys perched on the AC compressor outside our huge glass windows – she gladly picked the latter and sat mesmerized without a sound for a good two hours. She even assigned monkeys to each family member, and it helped that the corresponding ‘Zo’ monkey was as enthusiastic about watching the family on the other side. In fact, the bonding of the two little monkeys was quite an awesome watch. It was almost impossible to make her close the curtains but she finally did when the monkey family fell asleep.
Now that we are back to the routine, we are fervently planning the big vacation in May –itineraries, hotels, flights, trains – it’s a lot of work but atleast its fun. Plus one of the most fun parts of vacations is always the planning bit. It’s a totally different point that I lie around and read crime fiction while the dude frets over the modes of travel and trip advisor reviews. Zo has finished lower kindergarten and has some time off which she is spending with the parents, giving me a little more time to sleep this week.
So that’s that and that’s quite a bit. I have told myself that I will manage it till it is manageable and give up the moment it’s too much to handle. Only that’s always easier said than done. Especially since I have this serious problem of wanting to do everything all the time. Which will explain why I have signed up for the A to Z blogging challenge in April, which will again need to me write every day, for the month barring sundays.
Because quite frankly – that whole leg, kulhadi thing – I seem to have developed an affinity to the combination.