Life as we know it (or we think we do)

My new workplace has this interesting concept, where they lower the temperature on the floor to near-freezing, whenever our western counterparts come in. I wrote about when it happened the last time and here I am writing about it again. And before you go ‘Pshaw! Get some new stuff to say already lady!’ I will warn you, that smart folks would not look at this as repetition and understand, that reiteration means emphasis.

Anyhow, I have a new theory around it. Maybe, the idea isn’t the assumption that the westerners prefer colder work environments. Maybe it’s just that since they have come from frozen zones of the planet at this time of the year, the folks just want to ensure that they don’t enviously hate us as we scamper around in our sleeveless tops and skirts without leggings, and so, they freeze the place. I mean, it’s either that, or that we have this uncanny need to project our Bhartiya Sabhyata to the outsiders, and the only they can make the women dress modestly is by scaring them with threats of hypothermia.Maybe. Because, I have to tell you, it’s working. And after spending the morning almost being roasted to death by the Hyderabad sun, in my summery, white sleeveless shirt, I am now dressed like a freaking Eskimo, to avoid being frozen to death instead.

Which brings me to the Hyderabad sun, which is currently in its element, bringing forth the bitchiness like never before. Where ‘never before’ is actually an incorrect phrase because the Hyderabad sun is always this horrible, except for this one month starting in late December when it takes a break to sort of refuel and re-attack with the same viciousness. In short, its back and how. The mornings, thankfully aren’t as bad yet, and one can actually still manage to sit in the balcony for a good 15 minutes. It also helps that the Balcony faces west. Which is perfect for someone who will never have the pleasure of being in the balcony during the evenings, to actually feel the sun because that’s how life works in this industry.

This industry also means travel that I mentioned in the last post. I will be visiting Dubai for the first time, because I have only seen in while taking off and landing in the past. Dubai is the best transit airport, with its maze of Duty free stalls you can spend hours looking through. It is also where we restock on the good alcohol (cue to the spammy trolls consistently sharing links of how alcohol ruins life, you are welcome) and chocolates. Dubai is also the first foreign airport I visited  the first time I traveled abroad (London, Circa 2007), and marveled at how it looked like a posh railway station because (I kid you not) there were folks sleeping on the floor amidst the ruckus. So, I will have just 4 days I will spend there, all working, and so I doubt I will have time to do the mandatory touristy gawking, though I think I will make time to see the Burj because I have a thing for the biggest/tallest/first/last kind of hyped stuff. And atleast step into that famous Dubai shopping mall because I owe to my shopaholic self, though my middle class self will ensure I will not spend a rupee (or Dirham).

Other than that, and general pondering over life’s little mysteries, also a common phenomena some people call a midlife crisis, things are the same. As we grow older, things we ruminate about undergo a major paradigm shift. And if you have been blogging for as long as I have, it just takes a glance at the older posts to confirm this. What else explains  whole posts about how much Placecomm sucks and how the juniors are being a pain? When all I think about now (assuming thoughts do turn into blog posts, and you don’t get distracted while posting and talk about the traffic instead) is what I am doing with my life and more importantly is this what I should be doing with my life and how do I ensure I do what I really want in life because you only live once or Zindagi na milegi dobara Oh My God Zoya Akhtar movies really do make so much sense.

But unfortunately, life doesn’t. Which is why I need to get back to doing what I am meant to be doing instead of spending time talking about things that matter more. Like the temperature on my floor; which by the way – still as annoying as before.

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Some like it in the pot nine days old

I had promised myself that I would not let go of the blog once the blogathon got over. But there is just something so enticing about doing nothing at all, that it is 9 days since I last posted and I can’t seem to feel one iota of regret for having giving in to it; and actually spending every night, watching excerpts of something as lame as Pretty Little liars season 5, which by the way I did religiously watch until season 2 and now I have practically no idea about. I mean there are folks whose death was the very crux of the show, that are now in jail, under the murder charges of the person who I think was the original murder suspect of this person who apparently was not murdered at all.

Which by the way, also means that all those promises of getting back to reading, now that the blogathon was done, those are down the drain as well. I repeat what I said 9 days ago – at this rate, 2016 will be my year of no reading at all. Which brings me to the highlight of today –I finally collected the study material for my course starting this month, and the geek in me cannot wait at all. And I sincerely hope that at least course books keep me off watching shit I don’t understand on the idiot box.

Not so much is happening in life otherwise, and that sucks, especially since work takes up all of my time. I haven’t travelled or gone on a road trip in forever (where forever = 2 months in this case) and while I seem to be able to live with it, The Dude is forever wandering around with a long face like the world has come to an end. But amends are being made and hopefully this situation will be handled soon. But before that, I have a work trip coming up in a week’s time, and I don’t think anyone knows how much I despise those more than the folks who have read me for a while. But it is to a new (albeit not so exciting place) so I am telling myself that I will live through the 4 days I am there.

Zo had Open day at school this weekend, which is where she had to talk about that model of the seasons that we had made back in January – I surely wrote of it in the blogathon!). She did a decent job, though she seemed to have already lost interest by the time we arrived and had to be coaxed to say beyond a line or two about each of the seasons. I can sort of understand her situation because imagine doing a pitch at age 4,  when there are things like Styrofoam balls on the ground and others’ projects and snacks around, basically stuff that is infinitely more exciting. But I have to give it to some of the kids who were natural speakers, and it also helped that their moms stood around making them revise their lines when there was no one to listen. The whole experience also made me a wee but guilty about not being a supermom and then I quickly pushed the thought away telling myself that even if I had the time, there was no guarantee I would use it to teach Zo instead of lying on the bed, loudly singing ‘Mary had some chewing gum’ (a very innovative modification of Mary had a little lamb that has been taught to her at school), before bed time.

And that would be that. In terms of all the life altering things that have happened between the last day I wrote and today, unfortunately there is nothing much I can talk about. But as always, that hasn’t deterred me from talking anyway, irrelevant as it might have been to you. Also, what is life if not our way of making some sense out of all the disjointed irrelevance it is full of?

On that failed attempt at making some sense of this post, I will take leave, and hope you don’t.

Yes, Baby?

Eons ago (it does seem like eons now), I had written this post about how there seemed to be certain default variables in our society, that determined whether a couple was ready to have a baby. Mind you, these are not variables that the couple uses to take a call as big as this – these are sensible reasons that are usually offered to them, free of charge, unasked for, by their well-wishers. Surprisingly, there seem to be no default variables to define if they are ‘not’ ready to have a baby. For that, being a married couple is enough, and the rest will fall in place, magically. Because isn’t it to procreate that a man and woman decide to get married in the first place?

Ahem. No would be the answer. No. Even if you are going aww at the sight of every baby stroller in sight, and all your friends are continuously sharing pictures of their ‘cute little ANGLE’ (true story, by the way). Even if your biological clock is ticking away and your mom and your husband’s mom and the neighbor’s mom and his cat’s mom are reminding you of it every day, no. Unless, you have thought through and discussed and solved and are able to counter all of the variables that say no, you’re not ready to have a baby.

Because dude, let me tell you this – babies are hard work, and responsibility, and they cost you time and money. Yes, money. Now the pro-baby brigade might go all – ‘How can having a baby be a financial decision, it’s an emotional decision, love is all that matters’. Yes, love is all that matters, but when you are in a financial rut and unable to provide the luxury that you once dreamt of for your child, trust me; it won’t be the best of feelings. So question one, are you in a position to maintain the sort of lifestyle you always hoped you would, after having the baby as well? If yes- great. If not, and you’re ok with it, great again. But if you haven’t thought of it, think.

Question two, what sort of a lifestyle do you have now? If you are the spontaneous, carefree sorts, you might want to remember that having a baby will change that. I’m not saying that you will stop partying, stop traveling, and stop the road trips, no. But will you be able to decide at midnight that you want to embark on a 12 hour drive at 4 AM? Probably, but you will need to consider things like – oh but by 4 baby wouldn’t have done her potty so should be leave at 5 when she would be done? Or, if we leave at 4, will we reach a place with food joints by 7, because baby needs food at 7. Or, have we packed enough diapers, and water, and milk and wipes? Small things, but you will need to plan them. If you have thought of it, perfect. If you think you need a few more impromptu pub-hopping nights before you get to the ‘Can we have one of the grandparents manage her on Saturday night, next week, so we can go have a drink?’, take your time.

Questions three and this is for women with jobs and careers that they want to continue with – What’s your plan for the baby once maternity leave is over? Because it gets over, in a blink, and you’re left with this tiny bundle that needs to be fed every 2 hours, and hormones that are all over the place and that will make you wonder if you’re being selfish thinking of anything other than the baby. So when the baby is 3 months old, or 6 (if you’re lucky), who is going to manage the baby while you are away?

In our Indian households, the first answer is ‘my parents or his’. And you’re lucky if you have that option. I did, and I went to work without a worry until my baby turned 10 months old, very peaceful, and aware that her grandmother was there with her. Because in my case, my mother-in-law was pretty clear that she would manage the baby until she was 10 months old, and was actually looking forward to it. The point here is, it’s ok to depend on your parents, but it is not ok to think they are obliged to manage your baby, because let’s face it, it’s your baby, you chose to have it. So do you have a back-up plan? Because honestly, our parents will never say no to taking care of their precious grandkids. But to hold them to it wouldn’t be the nicest thing to do. Also, I personally feel that our parents have every right to deny being full time baby sitters ‘cos they have done their duty with us, and it’s our turn now. I had a friend complain to me about how her friend’s ‘mean mother-in-law refused to take care of her kid and so her friend had to quit her job’. To which my only question is – who did you have the kid for? For your Mom-in-law? If yes, are you frigging kidding me? And did she say she will manage the baby full time and back out? If yes, hard luck girl, you should have planned better.

So again, do you have a plan? Are you ok with a full time nanny managing the kid alone at home? Are you confident she won’t have the TV running soaps the whole day ensuring your kids have an early addiction to the idiot box? Or are you ok with a day-care? And not worried that the children might catch infections and illnesses more often because of all the other kids? Or did you always know that you might have to quit work for the baby? As long as you have thought it through and are convinced, there’s nothing to worry about. The problem arises when you think things will automatically happen as they are supposed to. They don’t.

Which is why I admire folks who have 2 kids and are managing everything perfectly, happy with their decisions, just as much as I admire folks who are pretty damn clear that they aren’t having a baby because they are not cutout/ready for it. Atleast you have your priorities clear. Very often, I come across older relatives, family friends, who are depressed that their child has chosen to not have a child of their own, because it seems so wrong. And every time, I sit and explain to them that wrong would be when they have a child because they are supposed to, and not because they want to, and that would be a bigger wrong. No point in looking back and regretting a decision as big as bringing a whole new person to this world and not being able to handle the change.

I have even been asked, rather accusingly, how I could support these folks who are ‘denying themselves and their parents this natural phenomena of procreation’, when I myself chose to have a child at the “right” time. And the answer is, when we chose to have Zo, we were pretty damn clear about how it would change things, how we would manage things, and our back up plans. In fact, I was prepared for a baby much earlier, but I chose for ‘us’ to be prepared before we went ahead. We are lucky folks who have more ‘us’ time than most couples we know because of our parents’ support, but as I keep saying, that’s a luxury we enjoy for as long as we have it. And that we need to be prepared to handle everything sans the luxury, if the need arises. Yes, like boring old people, we make ‘if-then-else’ plans.

Thing is, babies are awesome, and babies are also responsibility for life. I personally believe (and I have said this before here I’m sure) that I did not know what responsibility meant until Zo was born. So if you want to have kids -2, 3, 4 a whole dozen, go ahead. But know what’s coming up, atleast to some extent. And if you think it is going to be tough for you to manage even one, ensure that you don’t succumb to pressure. If you think you need time to decide, take it – the biological clock doesn’t matter as much as the mental clock does.

Eventually, what matters is that you know what you are doing, and that you’re happy with it.

One for the heck of it, almost

Yeah yeah. I know what you are thinking. Look at this one, back to her infrequent posting, now that she doesn’t have a Blogathon egging her to go on. You are not? Well, it is certainly what I am thinking.

Not that it matters. But a few things in life deserve to be noted down however blah you feel, or however annoying work’s been, or however much you would rather read others yapping because they are so much more fun.

So thing one is a biggie. I am not sure I ever mentioned on my blog, I sure did on Twitter, but my new place of work, which I joined roughly 8 months ago? Well, that had a no cell-phone on the floor policy.

*Pause*

Take it in. Let it sink in. Breathe, breathe, BREATHE Damn it! Better? Yes. So yes. It is possible. It is true. And yes I, as a part of this organization, have been diligently locking away my beloved phone(s) (yeah, ironically, for a place which doesn’t allow you a phone, they give you one anyway so that you can be reached anytime, only you don’t get to keep this phone with you as well. Well, like I said, “ironic” is right) in a tiny locker right outside the floor where my precious cabin is.  Every day.

The first 2 weeks, I would step out every 2 hours, check for missed calls, messages and respond. Send late LOLs (I don’t do LOLs, I do Haha actually) to jokes shared on Whassap groups, check Facebook to see if anyone acknowledged how absolutely gorgeous I look in my current profile pic (ok, I do that for Zo’s pics, she gets all the likes. Hmph.), and then morosely lock it back and return to my den.

People said I would get used to it. And I did, Kind of. As in, after the first 2 weeks, I would go check my phone just once a day, at most twice. But the last couple of months, I am proud to admit that I never checked my phone even once. Through the day. It was like it didn’t exist. But I did miss it because, well, I think it is because I miss and want everything I am not ‘allowed’ pretty much. Just like Zo.

But last week, after 8 years, the policy was changed. Suddenly. Suddenly for me ofcourse, but Oh My God bottom line is I now get to use my phone at my desk like all normal people in the world! And I know it seems petty to those who have always had it, but trust me Dude, you have NO clue how it feels after an 8 month break. AWESOME. I could have cried when I was told of it. No wait, I think I did cry.

So that was one. Two was, there is this book. See, I am one of those awesome people who won’t buy new books until I finish all that I have bought, or atleast decide there is no way I am finishing them because I honestly cant. So there was this one book I bought when I was expecting Zo. I know right, 3 frigging years ago. It was a lovely book. Very well written, very interesting. But I never finished it. I stopped. Not once, not twice, 3 times. I would just stop it. The book, and reading in general. I wouldn’t buy a new book, because there was this perfectly good book I had and I was just not reading it. So it was kind of a jinxed book.

And last week, I finished it. So Phew. Big thing right? Right. I also went ahead and ordered myself some more books. I do have one unread book, but I tried starting it, not very keen to go on. Weirdly, I devoured the first two parts of that trilogy 3 years ago, and loved them. But I can’t get myself to read the third. I think I have forgotten everything in the first two, and that is enough reason to not want to read the third.

What else really? Oh yes, we did another trip to Goa (yes, again!) last weekend and it was fun except I was approving travel requests for someone from my team sitting on the beach and we all know that’s not cool. Also, I was returning to my room between drinks and fun conversations to respond to mails from work which “just couldn’t wait” on Friday night and that was not cool either. That apart, it was as fun as Goa can be and we all know that’s a LOT. Goa, is the only place where I get to holiday without doing anything at all because we just don’t have anything left to go see. And I love it. Plus there’s beaches. And Seafood. And beers. All of it anytime you want it. Basically, a whole lot of awesomeness. I know you get the gist so I will stop.

That’s enough you say? Yeah, I think so too. Now I can go back to doing all things useless, and not feel like I am cheating on my blog.

Yep, that’ll be good.

Friday afternoon Zen Vachan

It is alright to be depressed because you put on a whole kilo. Even if it makes you sound extremely shallow when ‘come on, you have such a perfect life, job, husband and baby’ and those are the important things. Please, can you atleast get to choose what you want to get depressed about now?

It is alright to go on a crash diet to make up for the binge you went on last week. Even if your mother thinks that you need to let go and enjoy life (and food). Only you know that the chocolate bar will last all of 10 minutes, but those slim jeans you bought for 2K will not magically expand to fit you.

It is alright to not want to talk to anyone even though everyone wants an update, and think you’re too full of yourself , and selfish not to make an effort. Because you don’t want to talk. Because there is nothing to talk about. Because there are too many things happening.  Because just like that.

It is alright to wish (even though it was just for a short half hour) that you were alone with no social responsibilities of any kind, even towards those who matter the most otherwise. It doesn’t necessarily translate to ‘you don’t care’ . And if it does to anyone, well to hell with them.

It is alright to be rude to someone who is rude to you, even though you think that’s not you. Because honestly, keeping mum about it and letting it fester and regret saying anything at the right time feels worse. And is probably even more ‘un-you’.

It is alright if you’re unable to keep everyone around happy, and concentrate on what you want, because atleast the latter can actually happen. And the fact that the world might think that’s what you do all the time anyway doesn’t matter.

It is alright to complain instead of ‘being thankful’ for all you have, because you feel like. If it bothers anyone, they can always tell you find another recipient for the rants. You can find those easily.

It is alright to make drastic resolutions about work, life and anything such, and also alright to not keep them. It is also alright to keep them just in case you were thinking otherwise. And it is also alright to modify them. In short, do what you want.

It is alright to watch TV while playing with your daughter, once in a while, even if it makes the time you are spending together ‘not quality time’. Making a project out of ‘Quality time with my daughter’ will only make it worse. She understands.

It is alright to tell someone who says he feels sorry for your baby because she goes to daycare, that you feel sorry for his because he has to see just his mom the whole day and get bored. Also, it is alright to make disgusted faces at people who think your husband is a ‘poor soul’ because he has to take care of your baby while you go out for dinner with colleagues.

It is alright to choose playing Ruzzle over reading ‘Inferno’ because you’re lazy and addicted. Also, come on, it’s Ruzzle, it’s awesome.

It’s alright to get annoyed at someone at work, and make it known to them because you cannot be nice and smiling all the time. And some people need to be taken down a notch or two. Even if it sounds (and probably is) horribly evil.

It’s alright to take a half hour off work to write this pseudo vent out because if you didn’t, you know nothing useful is getting done today. So breathe in. Breathe out. Get back to work.

Happy Friday.

To a peaceful world

I am quite the small townie when it comes to certain things. Like I will still get excited about spotting celebrities. While you might argue that everyone would like to spot celebrities, the differentiating factor in my case would be my definition of a celebrity. Like in 2005, I was at the Mumbai Airport waiting for my connecting flight for Goa, when I decided that I just HAD to spot some celebs here, because come on, Mumbai, and Airport.. And I did. And I wouldn’t stop talking about it as well. Who you ask? Well, there was this girl who was one of the three girls who were in that music video which was a remix of ‘Tu, tu hai wahi’? In hot pink? Yeah, the one in the middle. Also, some other Aunty, who I swear I had seen in some ad. I also saw Dino Morea, but he garnered the same level of excitement as the other two.

Now that I am in Hyderabad, the only celebs I can spot have to be from Tollywood. I do not watch Telugu movies, but I do know the actors, some even by name. So when this actor Nithin, sat on the table next to us at The Westin, while we were enjoying a lavish Sunday brunch, I just had to tell The Dude. Who thought that it was the unlimited wine that was talking. Then I googled images, and showed it to him, and also told him how this was not cool because this guy had even acted in one Hindi movie, ok accepted it was an RGV film, but still. The Dude felt very ashamed of his lack of knowledge.

The same way, I also get all happy when someone I know remotely (as remote as ‘she used to hold a bank account in your Dad’s branch a few years ago when her father was posted here’) makes it big (‘ yes, now she is India’s first Miss Universe!’), it makes me happy. That, true story, by the way.

So where am I going with this? This year, one of the 23 finalists at Miss India was the daughter of some Family friends of my in-laws. Which meant, I just had to watch it. And I did, diligently. She did not make it to the top 10, but that’s when they announced the question round, and I was generally not doing anything, so I decided that there could be nothing better than hear the views of these women, who otherwise annoyed me by being so tall and so skinny.

By the end of it, the one person I had decided would not even make it to the top 5 because of her answer, ended up winning the pageant. I am yet to get over it. Just so you know, this was her question –

If there were no rules in your life for one day. What would you do?

And this, was her answer .

I’d Ride a Horse in the Busiest Streets, climb up the tallest buildings and scream the world is so beautiful.

I innocently assumed that the answer would elicit the same response from the judges, as it did from me. That of wanting to place my head under said horse’s hooves. But no, she won. So I decided to shut up. Apparently because of her answer in the next round (which I was sure she would not be in), where she said that if she died tomorrow, her only regret would be that she has not done enough for the world. This answer, since it was so original and awesome, got her the crown.

It also made me realize that ‘World Peace’ rules pageants. I believe, that every question, and any question, can be answered with ‘World Peace’, though it might need some workaround. I am going to try just that with the 10 that were asked this time.

Question 1: If you had the choice to exchange your beauty for anything. What would you exchange it for and why?

Answer. World Peace. Because eventually, with my beauty, and this crown, that’s all I hope to achieve. History as already proved that the only way one can bring about world peace, is by winning these pageants and crowns.

Question 2 : These days many Parents don’t allow Kids to watch TV or surf the Internet while growing up. How do you feel about it?

Answer. Not very good. If there was no TV, or internet, children would engage in more physical activity, and be more energetic, which might end up in fights. Fights are chaos, not peaceful. So by keeping them dazed and occupied, they actually bring about World Peace.

Question 3. : Which is more significant for you today. Sunrise or Sunset?

Answer. Sunset. Because that’s when the world goes to sleep, and when you are asleep, it’s tough to wage wars. So sunset ensures World Peace.

Question 4. : If there were no rules in your life for one day. What would you do?

Answer. : Ride a white horse wearing white, and  wave a white flag, thus propagating World Peace.

Question 5.: Being an Independent Young Woman of today. Do you think the State Government and the Colleges have the right to impose a dress code?

Answer. Of course. The dress code should be all white. Because white is the color of peace. We can have doves, or olive branches printed on them for effect. All this will encourage World Peace.

Question 6. : You have been told that you are Beautiful. What else would you like people to think about you?

Answer.  Nothing else actually. In fact they should accept that beauty is all I have. That way, they will watch these pageants with no expectation of sensible answers, and their mind will be peaceful. And peaceful minds lead to World Peace.

Question 7. You genuinely Love someone. Which are the 3 things you would never do to hurt that Person?

Answer. 1. I would not cheat him

2. I would not lie to him

3. I would not ‘not try to bring about World Peace’.

Question 8. : You have chance to make one Phone call. All lines die after that. Apart from your Mother and father whom will you call?

Answer.  I would call the last Miss India who talked about World Peace in her question round, and ask her how in the world she would answer this one with ‘World Peace’.

Question 9. : Would you choose to be Water or Fire?

Answer. Both. First I will be fire, and then I will become water and pour myself on the fire, extinguishing it. By this, I will show how violence can be ended, and spread the message of World Peace.

Question 10. : If you were Crowned Miss India tonight. What would be your Message to your fellow Contestants and the World?

Answer.  To the fellow contestants, I would say – Haha, Na, na na, Na Na

To the world, I would say, the pageant is over, you can go back to bed, while I go party. And now that I have been crowned, I do not have to talk of World Peace. Thank you!

Yay. Confetti showers. Glitter all around. Loud Music. In total pageant style, thank you for being such a wonderful audience. And also a big thanks to this person, who took note of the questions asked, because I could not find them anywhere else.

Have a nice day people. May the Miss India, Miss Universe, Miss World, all bless us with World peace.

Stuff

Fridays, however busy, give this warm, happy, tingly feeling. I should avoid writing anything on a Friday, because however awesome, it loses charm to the undeniable awesomeness that is a Friday.

Anyhow. That s shouldn’t and wouldn’t deter me from writing a blog post today. I have nothing to say in specific so this is going to be incoherent. The usual, some might say.

In the good news, one of my blog posts got published in this Magazine – Democratic world. In the October 2012 issue. Here is the link to the online version. There is also a hard copy, which my mother picked up two copies of, and then couriered me one at 3 times the price of the Magazine itself. Mothers I tell you. Actually, parents in general, it is tough for them to not show off anything their precious kid does, however regular. Ooh, by the way, before I forget,  Zo now hums along to “Men Men Men”, the title track of Two and a half men, sans the tune. What? That’s big! Anyway, here’s the picture.

Then. I have a new “About me” page under “‘ello”. I realized that half the things I had written previously, didn’t seem as interesting as they did before. Ok, I am not claiming that I have many interesting things to write about myself now, but in any case, I did. Why am I mentioning this here? Because apparently, Google Reader doesn’t think adding a whole new page deserves a mention as an update. Changing the spelling in an old post? Well, that everyone needs to know. Bah. Also, I retaining the older write-up under a new “Historical me” page.

I think I would want to update the “About” page atleast once a year, it deserves that much attention. But then, knowing me,  I wouldn’t promise anything. I am after all the voracious reader, with a library membership, and 10 unread books, and a registration under a Book Review programme, who cannot seem to spare 30 mins to read every day. If you didn’t get how that is related, well, leave it, I just hit a raw nerve.

Ok. So assuming you will go check out the page soon, now that I have mentioned it, it will be undergoing some update. I need some more things worthy of being recorded as on date out there. Also, you will note that I am no longer anonymous. Officially. And as if that was not enough, if you do choose to click on the picture of the magazine, or the link, which I pimped out here, you will notice that they have used my picture. My very pregnant picture, from Google. Which by the way kind of tells me that there is indeed some point in updating atleast your picture on Google Plus, because otherwise, they will use your very fat, pregnant picture.  I am not complaining. I am a happy person enjoying my one page of fame.

Other than that, I am addicted to Twitter. Every morning, I just have to sit and scroll through 11 hour old tweets. Sometimes, I don’t. And then I have to sit in the evening and scroll through 23 hour old tweets. And then, the timeline is too long, so I never reach the present, so the next morning again I have to start from  1d old tweets. It’s not cool. So today, with a heavy heart, I skipped a whole day’s tweets and read the latest ones only. As for tweeting myself, I try hard to be regular and fail miserably. The only time I overdid it was when I had a sore throat last week,and couldn’t talk, so I kinda made up for it by typing out random tweets. But now I am fine, so I am back to the vocal blabber instead.

Now, I am pretty much out of things to say, but the picture from the magazine you see above? Well, as I type this, I can’t see it, because it’s not there. Actually, my mom has it on her phone and is supposed to send it, and is trying to, but it’s not happening. So I am waiting. And while I do that, I am continuing the post.

I watched “Barfi”. Did you like it? I know I am super-late asking this, but like I said, I have the time. I liked it. It was nice and warm and fuzzy. It was also extremely unrealistic, and impractical, and idealistic, but then I do not go to movies for realism at all. I am all for big colleges which are actually the British Museum, and coordinated dance sequences where everyone is in bright and colorful clothes, massive mansions with halls so big they can (and do) host parties for an entire town,  and dream songs with white snowy backgrounds and a single tree with no leaves and pink flowers on it for the contrast. Yeah, the last bit was about “Ishq Wala Love”. Lovely song, funny lyrics, funnier parody. I did not however go to see the movie because it makes me feel very old. I mean the moment you talk about the cast using the word “kids”, you know you’re a decade too late to enjoy it.

I mentioned this to a bunch of kids at work. Real kids, where anyone born post 1988 are classified as kids. And one of them very cheekily said “Watch ‘Shirin Farhad’ then, that will make you feel young right?” Hmph. But I realized I was not too keen on that too. I guess I am generally being picky about movies. Like I am planning to watch Jab tak hai jaan, NOT.

So Amma sent a pic finally, which will go up, and you will see it. It’s blurred, so no point reading it. But my name is pretty clear, bah! Anyway, this is a non-anonymous blog so I have no hassles of blurring the name, putting a black blotch on it or anything. It does break my no pictures rule on the blog, but seriously, this is not me. Not anymore.

I was away for the past hour, and I also wrote some random things, but I deleted all of it because I have more to say. Sorry. Yeah, so back to the point when I mentioned that I feel old? Yeah. So I am not sure if you remember but this be my Birthday month. And this is not the “comes once a year birthday”. It’s the “comes once a decade” birthday. Yep. The Big Thirty is finally here. So point being, this whole feeling-mature-and-finding-the-youngsters-kiddish thing is just part of the whole “when you turn 30” cliches that I have heard of. There are more, but I think I need to dedicate a whole post to that.

Then Rehman. Man, why? Why does he do this to Hindi movies? Why? What is this music for JTHJ? What is it? I try to listen to it over and over again for it to ‘grow’ on me, but thats #epicfail. And I go back to Ishq Wala Love. And  I am all like he is losing touch, and then he will come up with this one song for a Mani Ratnam movie, which will need the first 10 seconds to fall in love with! It’s a conspiracy. I tell you. Not fair.

Lastly, I had a massive troll attack phase recently, and it further proves my point that there are too many people with too much time and energy to read me, hate me and then write lengthy hate mails and comments about my wrong priorities, my bad life and my inhuman attitude, to me, perhaps wanting to change me for the better. But I am very busy, so I am ignoring their attempts. Also, I am going to use some comment moderation, instead of prolonging the conversations with what only I think are witty responses. Really. I also added a disclaimer of sorts in my Intro. Go see.

Ok Enough. This is way too long already. I think the fact that I have not being doing these kind of irrelevant posts in a while is taking a toll on me and I am trying to do it all in one shot. But I really need to think of you all too. So I will let you be.

Go, enjoy your weekend now.